Mets trade Brian Stokes for Gary Matthews Jr

Omar, just when I thought you lost the Contest. While Brian Stokes wasn't the best (his 3.97 ERA was really lucky, a 4.63 FIP and a 5.50 tRA) he certainly was better than Gary Matthews Jr. Since signing that 5/$50 million contract, Matthews Junior has been worth -1.1 WAR. Yeah, negative. He can't hit anymore (his wOBA has been .324, .303 and .313 the last 3 years). He'd be a perfectly good fourth outfielder except he can't field anymore (1, -9.3, -14.5 UZR the last 3 years). I know we're paying him $1 million this year and next, but what do we get for that $1 million? Or, more importantly, who could we have signed?
But what does Omar think of it?

"He's a very versatile player"

Is versatile another way of saying he can suck at left, right and center field?

"I felt just that with Carlos being out, it's an opportunity to get a guy that's versatile, and a guy that in our ballpark can play all outfield positions. I just feel that versatility is important"

we get it. He's versatile. He will save you .9 runs in right field. That's all we can play. Oops, I forgot, we have Frenchy!
And, if you're so commited to versatility, why did you sign Alex Cora, who can only play second?

"and to be able to get a guy like him on board -- with Carlos or without Carlos -- I think it just makes our team better."

How the #@^&$@*&(*!&#^%^#&%$@%^&#! does getting someone below replacement level make the Mets better? Explain that to me Omar?

"There's an opportunity for him to come into New York and hopefully be able to get more playing time, I think the key for him is going to be playing time."

The key for him is to get more playing time. So he can suck more? I mean, I'm not Jeff Francoeur's biggest fan, but I'd rather have him playing right field and center field than Gary Matthews Jr.

Matthews wanted to be traded to a team that would allow him to start, and the Mets, at least temporarily, can offer him that assurance
WHAT THE %*&$&@(^*%$(@*&%((**(&@&^@#^$&^*@$*&@$^&^!&*(!)*($*(&@^!#^
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ANTHONY DiCOMO?

"I think it's going to be open competition," Minaya said of the center-field job. "That's the same thing that I told Gary Matthews Jr. when he asked that. Nobody's going to be given a job. Whoever performs is going to be given the opportunity."
Pheew. You had me worried there Omar. I thought you were actually going to give the center field job to Gary Matthews Jr. Even you aren't that dumb.
Oh yeah, I forgot. You traded Brian Bannister, who would be the Mets 2nd best pitcher right now for murderer Amborix Burgos.

Omar, the Angels were not on the approved trading list for Omar™. You are only allowed to trade with Dayton Moore, Brian Sabean, Ed Wade and Ned Colletti.
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*Head hits keyboard in frustration*